Vanity is Godliness
About me
Because blogs are inherently about vanity and believing your view is more important than the rest of the world's: I am here.
The web called to me, saying, "Bring us your greatness! Bring us your grandeur!"
And I said, "no."
The web cried out to me, "Bring us your witty observations, scathing criticisms, and your dead sexy smile."
And I said, "well... maybe."
Then the web shouted back, "Look, bitch, everyone else has one. Get a friggin blog up now!"
So I did.
Be vain, like me! Make your voice as pompous as my own. Say, "listen to me, bitch!" with a loving
Happy Monday - 10.27.2008
Dearest Gorgeous Gays!
Yes, here it is, yet another Happy Monday! Now, I know in recent weeks we have discussed underwear, hot men, and Sex and the City, because we can. We live in America, after all— one of the greatest nations on the planet and home to the most Fabulous of fabulous gays.
On Friday evening, I spent a good three hours primping and preening my hair, gusseting my gut into a fine silk corset, and plopping my junk into the finest pair of AussieBums imaginable. I won’t take any shortcuts when it comes to going to McDonald’s.
But, after a meal of bovine flavored, dehydrated starch, poly-lacto-cellulose-methylalinine-glycate (commonly known as the number 5 combo meal), I needed something to do, so I ventured out to Alan Gold’s. Yes, it is my joy of joys! Alan’s, you are my sweet purveyor of hosed-down kisses, ego-maniacal trailer trash, and supporters of McCain!
Wha-what?
Yes, supporters of McCain.
Now, I stumbled for a moment, at a loss for words. I thought: A gay. Voting for McCain. Is there an equivalent that would help me better understand the dilemma. No. No there was not. And, then, finally I had to ask:
-Maybe they could vote for McCain because they might pay less tax? But Obama’s plan gives more back to all these gays. Not one of them makes more than $200,000 a year, and if they did, why are they not buying me drinks?
-Maybe they are afraid? They fear terrorists. But, more people die in the United States due to poverty every year than all of the terrorist attacks of the past 8 years combined. Surely they realize the poor house is far scarier than a wacko beating a Bible or a Koran?
-Maybe they don’t have any interest in federal recognition of same sex unions (called marriage or otherwise)? But then there’s over 1,100 rights given to all Americans, except homosexuals. Even if a gay never gets married, there are implications if they ever decide to have children.
Unfortunately, none of the responses I got were as thought out or considered. No, while innocent hood-winked gays are voting party line (which is okay), the Hooded gays replied that they would never vote for a n*gger, muslim, or “those people”. I realize there is no changing a person who is trashy enough to base their beliefs on skin color, but I was absolutely stunned to think these particular gays had skipped their Klan meeting to come to Alan’s. While I was stunned, the reality setting in on me was this: these were friends from the inner circle saying this to me. I had heard it on the periphery the week before, but these were friends… not just acquaintances.
Oh, yes, that changes everything.
While I am more than happy to discuss politics, chiffon, and silicone based lubricants, I draw the line at blatant racism. There is nothing to do but say, “seriously?,” state that some of my closest friends are not white, and excuse myself from the conversation. This election is yet another example of one party trying to scare people to the polls.
In 2000: they told you the gays would ruin the world.
In 2004: they told you the only thing you had to fear was that other person somewhere over there. “No, here! No, there! Wait, he’s back. Let’s just blow up everything, including the Bill of Rights! Wait, no, let’s destroy the economy and faith in market driven economics at the same time! Woo hoo, I’m the Decider! Now, before we set this thing off, how many gays you got under that bomb? He he.”
In 2008: “Let’s terrify everyone left in the country who hasn’t realized this country is doing more harm to itself than anyone else could even contemplate. Let’s make them fear the black man… again. Wait, there a gay somewhere? Let’s make it look like the gays belong with the terrorists and that’s why they aren’t really Americans! Woo hoo! I’m a Maverick!”
But, back to me and the reason for this not-so-happy, but could be happy, Monday. We each have a chance to stand up and claim our rights as an American: a person who believes ALL men are created equal. A person who believes that all of us has the God-given right to the pursuit of freedom and happiness. A person who respects the nation’s need for security, but not at the cost of the diversity and social fabric from which this nation was built.
Yes, the happiest thing I could think of this Monday was not that you vote one way or another. The happiest thought I had for this Monday was that each one of you would reach deep down into your own heart and look at the issues and what is really important to you, your friends, and family.
Do you have a friend out of a job?
Do you know— or are you— a member of a minority group?
Do you think our secret to greatness is contained in the little phrase on your money: e pluribus unum (from the many, one), or do you think we owe nothing to our community?
These are the questions I would ask everyone to consider this coming Election Day. This is not an election of abstracts, this is an election of fundamental differences that will impact each of us for the next 4, if not 8, years. Each of us is entitled to an opinion, (Though Madonna will always be better than Celine… that’s just fact and no other opinion is possible.) but let’s base those decisions on fact, our needs at the present, and our vision for the future.
A day when everyone votes based on those criteria? That is a truly Happy Monday.
RESOURCES:
An Overview of Federal Rights and Protections Granted to Married Couples
There are 1,138 benefits, rights and protections provided on the basis of marital status in Federal law. [1] Because no U.S. state allows lesbian and gay couples to marry, however, lesbian and gay couples are excluded from all of these.
The following is a summary of several categories of federal laws contingent upon marital status.
From: http://www.hrc.org/issues/5585.htm
John McCain
Okay, this is all I will say about this… So, he still has Joe’s name badge up there on his site. Joe hasn’t paid taxes in years. How can he pay more in taxes, when he hasn’t paid any in years??? But I digress. Come get your statements from McCain here: http://www.johnmccain.com/landing/
Barack Obama
Take a moment to find out who the man really is. (Just in case reading his book or any one of the reputable biographies aren’t enough.) Also, there’s an LGBT section of the site. You can even find out what your taxes would be under his plan. (I was a little disappointed, but I guess that new Prada doggie outfit will have to wait.)
http://www.barackobama.com/index.php
Debunking Myths on Both Sides
Well, there’s far more on Obama here, but it does include information about Palin as well. There have been a lot of lies spread about Obama, and Palin has had a few as well. For a list of everything true and those things mostly false about Barack Obama and Sarah Palin, check out this link. It’s a non-partisan, urban myth debunking site. There is no agenda and, in fact, the way they write makes me think that there may be a little pro-McCain bias, but they back their facts up with photos and actual data.
